It’s…

…1AM.

My room is dark, except for the screen.

The music is making me feel disembodied.

I was punched in the face tonight…and though the glove was puffy, and the headgear reinforced, the hit was hard enough to make tears flow and teeth ache. Two friendly opponents then bled because of my anger. And frustration. And impotence.

Something just cocked inside – the double-barrels of dread and urgency have taken aim.

I haven’t spoken to my family in over 18 months…out of necessity.

My best friend is leaving the country in a week…perhaps never to return.

And no once-pleasant distraction – be it cinematic, electronic, culinary, erotic, or romantic – holds any truth for me…

Not now.

Not at this moment.

Because there is work to do…serious work.

And I’m afraid to flip the switch…or push the buttons…or punch the code.

I’m afraid to surrender again to the fearsome tides of doing.

I’m afraid of missteps, disappointments, failures, and lasting regrets.

I am so afraid.

And that’s how I know it has to be done.

11 Responses to “It’s…”

  1. tobias says:

    … and when Brooke starts talking like that I know things are going to get interesting. Especially for me…

  2. Nabothi says:

    Been playing Wii Sports Boxing too much?

    Sounds like something’s coming up… consider me interested. As always.

  3. tobias says:

    … I’m pretty sure B’s talking about boxing without the Wii.

  4. guppy says:

    Now above me, thats making light of the moment.

    B:
    Is this a sense of Deja Vu or is the world just coming to a full circle back to the spot of inspiration?

  5. Susan (FA) says:

    :)

    Welcome back.

  6. Rexfelum says:

    Imagine little cat ears perked up.

    And whiskers forward.

    Full seek-and-receive mode.

    –Rexfelum

  7. Matthew says:

    For whatever comes next, all us voyeurs will remain glued to this place. So we are all along for the ride.

    We’ll be watching.

  8. Who is the friend? Is it one of the saints?

  9. admin says:

    Kim’s leaving for New Zealand, Australia, and Indonesia for at least a year :(

  10. Zreekee says:

    my New Year resolution (first one in about 5 years) is “Get it done”. Be that a doctor’s appt I have putting off, do the dishes, clean that closet, unfinished beading projects, or tackling my son’s mental health problems.

    I’m gonna Get It Done.

    Good luck with your It’s. :)

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