Posted By Brooke Burgess
See the picture to the right? That’s me. That’s me looking unimpressed. That’s me looking unimpressed for a slew of reasons, not the least of which is our hacked forum. And where does the lion’s share of negative energy stem from? What’s the catalyst for the sudden wash of ‘ill’ in these parts? In what pocket did the tangled roots of discontent first suck soil, in my humble yet steel-trappish estimation?
So, no more dancing. No more bullshit. No more passive acceptance. You want ‘games’? Let’s play one then. It’s simple. In the age of media manipulation, misconstrued statements, and downright maliciousness, this is a little something I like to call, with the deepest of affection:
“Why people need to find true MEANING in their lives – now more than EVER.“
#1. I posted details about Nintendo’s upcoming gaming machine, and said post is unadulterated, absolute, God’s own, 100% FACT…or BULLSHIT.
****REACTION**** My writings on Nintendo’s next-gen entry were and ARE – as clearly prefaced in the post – my PERSONAL SPECULATION. What I DID share was the result of some intriguing detective work, which may or may not have folks nodding coming E3 in LA. How can I be any more clear? If I was in a position to know anything 100%, don’t you think the three little letters N-D-A would’ve entered into it?
#2. Not only have I followed up said post with numerous supporting/conflicting statements on the above thread’s COMMENTS page, but I’ve even started a completely NEW FORUM to discuss all things Nintendo.
*** REACTION *** The ONLY posts I made in the comments sections were of the BRIEF and adminstrative variety. Some cats thought it might be fun to use my ‘Admin’ handle to further the wacky speculation as ‘me‘, while a special little wingnut took the liberty (and had the outright gaul, considering our loss earlier this week) to indeed launch a FORUM in my name! Flattering? Certainly. Ballsy? I admit it, the guy’s got scrot’. But factual? Not a whiff, kiddies. Not even a Bushian brain cell’s worth. Unless it’s posted on the MAIN PAGE of brokensaints.com, or in one of our regular newsletters, you can safely pull the bullshit lever with great zeal.
#3. I was down at ShoWest, and had drinks, snorted coke, and banged hookers with Robert Rodriguez before he shared in post-coital comedown that 3D was the gaming wave of the future…and then proceeded to put the semen smeared prototype controller of the Revolution in my shaking, powdery hands.
*** REACTION *** I wasn’t anywhere near Vegas. Hate the place. Makes my soul bleed. I don’t touch coke. Not even the liquid variety. Makes my stomach bleed. And I don’t sleep with professionals. Shit, I feel guilty paying for a plumber, let alone a pussy. But I have spies, my friends. Journalists. Agents. Producers. And people say things. And then I factor them into my speculation equation. No more…and no less.
#4. The Broken Saints Forum was hacked this week, and countless personal, professional, and creatively platinum threads were forever destroyed. This is a direct result of the IGN link to my post, and the resulting explosion of interest.
*** REACTION *** I believe the fact that this slash and burn occurred during the PEAK of hit activity from IGN is more than ‘coincidental’. Now, I don’t blame Matt for spreading some shine our way…but I DO believe that some punk wanted to steal a heartbeat of ‘infamy’ by trashing our boards. Our whole community is in mourning right now, and we’ve received hundreds of supportive mails and offers of assistance, so we’ll somehow muddle through. But as you can tell by my expression in the shot above, I’m not exactly doing the Snoopy dance.
#5. I only posted this stupid Nintendo story to get more hits to my lame-ass site.
*** REACTION *** Brokensaints.com almost shut down mid-run of 2002 due to excess visits and ‘negative capital’ in our piggy bank. Since then, we’ve managed to scrape by on bandwidth bills with kind support from our fans through donations, benefit concerts, swag, soundtracks, and our award-winning DVD. We get around 2000 unique visitors a day all on our own, thank you very much – so do you think we COVET another 10K? Shit…maybe if 1% of you actually BOUGHT something, then sure. Come on in. Pull up a chair. Shank my Mom. Party time. Wayne’s World. But I KNEW going into this that it was more about stirring the Big N’s pot as a longtime fanboy myself. I want the truth about their Revolution plans just as badly as YOU do! I want them to RULE again!!! If anything, I had the tiniest of hopes that my theory might’ve forced Nintendo’s hand before the big show and strike terror into the hearts of the competition. And yes…I mused that a FEW of you might enjoy hanging out in our little corner of the WWW. Of course. But color me surprised – and more than a little hurt – by the actual results. To quote the boys, “Fucking savages in this town, man…”
#6. Broken Saints is in production as a title for Revolution, PS3, X-Box 360, PSP, DS, Gameboy Advance, Dreamcast, Sega Saturn, Virtual Boy, SNES, Genesis, Turbo Grafx 16, Neo-Geo, Sega Master System, Jaguar CD, Commodore 64, Vectrex, and most imporantly, the Phantom.
*** REACTION *** Do I want a BS game? Hells yeah. Is there an existing design for one? Hells yeah. Has it been pitched? Hells yeah. Is there an early demo or concept footage? Boy…that forum thread on DVD easter eggs sure was cool until it was mercilessly shot in the goddamn head, wasn’t it? Hells…yeah.
Stew on that over the weekend, brothers and sisters…hopefully it was Febreeze for your Halo-addled brains. I’m going outside for a while to admire God’s texture work and 3D modeling skills. Peace to all corners from our (previously) quiet one.